Office Pranks, Office Humor, and Office Stories - One Crazy Office

It is not uncommon to get constables and other law enforcement type people out at this site to serve papers to employees. In fact it usually happens at least once a month. But the other day when this constable walked in he had a little surprise for me. He was not serving one, but two people for two completely different reasons.

So he walked in the building and I got the call on the radio that they needed me at the front desk. I invited the constable into my office and asked him the name of the individual that we we about to call down. Well he hands me two names which has never happened before. I was thinking great it is hard enough just to get one guy down here.

I look up to see if they were even here today and one was and one wasn't. I couldn't get a hold of the guy who was here though. So he left me two of his cards and told me to give that to the two individuals. I didn't have to, but I was bored and thought OK I will help you make some quick money on the side.

Later that day I get a hold of that one individual and give him the card. The guy calls it and it ends up being the wrong guy. Apparently there are two people with that same name that work here. I was like oh great.

I ended up giving both cards to the correct people and called the constable. Well he zooms right over and wants to see those people. Well one guy came and got served and that was the end of it. The other guy didn't want his so guess what he did? He RAN...

I informed very politely that he will not be picking up his summons, because he is in the process of leaving this site right now as quickly as possible. The constable ended up running after him and I am sure that he got his man.

This actually didn't happen at the site I worked at or with the company I work with. This happened at an OLD RETIREMENT HOME. You will have to remember that. And it had to deal with one of my friends.

It all started when I was having a house warming party and we invited all the usual guests over. Well one of my friends brings over this huge bottle of wine. I was like whoa that's a lot of booze in one bottle. Well people kept talking about it, and how generous this guy was.

Well another friend who actually worked at the same place as him started getting jealous for some reason. And we are all good friends and love to rain on each others parades any time we can.

So he spilled the beans on this guy in front of the entire party. What had happened was that the guy who brought the wine had stolen it from the cafe at the RETIREMENT HOME. And Apparently he has done this more than once. They said he probably has more than a liquor store by now.

Everyone started laughing at it, but thought it was wrong to steal the old folks booze.


Funny side note, the guy a few months later was found passed out at work holding a empty bottle of wine AT WORK. He actually was able to keep his job though since nobody would take his shifts and they couldn't hire anybody else for some reason.

I still have that bottle too. I think it would be bad to drink and bad to throw it away at the same time, so it is gathering dust at home. I get a little chuckle everytime I look at it though.

Now this guy was off his rocker. I think when he finally left our site it was a blessing in disguise. He was a lawsuit waiting to happen. This guy even had a masters degree and was working security as his main job. He is also one of the few people that actually scared me.

This story didn't get him fired, but it is very memorable. He was having this party at his house one day, and I guess he wanted to invite some people at work. So his idea to get the word out was to plaster his info about the party in ALL the break rooms around the building and put a couple on this one girls desk.

He knew it, but this girl was one of the head girls on HR. I personally have a problem with people who work in HR. We just don't get a long for some reason. I digress.

So the party comes and goes and out of 2000 something employees not one of them shows up. He works 3RD shift and no one knows who he is for one. But here comes his big mistake. He goes up to the HR girl and starts a conversation with her. And apparently he told her that she missed on hell of a party. She said oh that was you that left that note on my desk. And then he said the instant classic line.

He said and I quote " Oh man you should of been there we were all drinking and they had ton of pot. We were smoking some crazy weed. You really missed it" And that is all fine and good depending on who you are, BUT YOU DO NOT SAY THAT TO HR! So she goes to the security supervisor. And he ended up keeping his job.

Now he was fired a few months after that though for making a joke that I have said in another post, but here it goes again. What do you call a person who has sex with their bike?....A peddle file. And with that he was outta there.

The reason he scared me though was because he was on medication and he was telling everyone that he had a gun. Which is fine, but they way he was talking was scary.

Also now that I think of it he wasn't fired. They moved him to a different site and he started doing patrol. So he still works for the security company.