Office Pranks, Office Humor, and Office Stories - One Crazy Office

When most people get moved up at the place they work it is because they deserved it or something like that. Well when I got moved to days it was to separate me and my coworker friend. Since we always got in trouble. Supposedly they wanted to see who was feeding off of who.

They were thinking since we were not together anymore then one would fail and the other one would be fine. Everyone always thought that I was the following so that I would fail. Well they were right about one thing. Someone did fail, but it wasn't me. Not even a month a later he was fired, because he was never on time and sometimes he didn't show up.

But now I faced new challenges. I was around when everybody else was. That meant I couldn't do anything fun anymore. I had to actually do my job. Or so I thought. I still found ways to get in trouble. A lot of times though I got in trouble for things I didn't do. So in turn I would do something else. If I am getting in trouble then I might as well do what I am getting chewed out for.

I had to be around Sgt. Retodd ALL DAY LONG NOW. So if you think that I didn't like him before then you can imagine how much we became friends now.

Some good things came out of it though. I could now carpool with my girlfriend since we had the same hours. She is not a guard.

So all in all it was the best thing for me. I did drop out of college though because of two reasons. Actually three.

One I thought that I had arrived and I didn't need school anymore, which was very stupid.
Two I didn't have time anymore since I was at work during the days and could be around my girlfriend at night now.

Three I had a kid on the way so all my money was going to go to him now and I wouldn't have the time that way.

One of my main problems when I first started working nights was that I couldn't watch my favorite show anymore. The Simpsons. It would end up leading me to buy a Tivo, but until then I was in agony.

What I would do though when I could was sneak into break rooms when they were empty and watch a few minutes of it. They were all repeats, but I really didn't watch any other TV than that. So it was important to me that way.

Well where I work we have an auditorium that has a huge screen on the stage. I would go in there on my rounds, but would just make things were clear and then lock it up for the night. Well after we got written up for eating in the break room while the TV was on we were pretty much screwed. We couldn't even be in the same room as a TV. Much less watch it anymore.

I got over that pretty fast. The other guard and I found how to work that big screen in the auditorium. It did take awhile though. I am pretty tech savvy, but I had never worked with a projector before, and I had to be careful too since it was work property and if we broke it then it would really be our hides.

But we got it to work. And we got to watch the Simpsons for a few nights, but they found out pretty quick that there was always no guards around during this certain period of time. So we had to cut it out before we got into some hot water.

And we were already in hot water for some stupid thing that I can't even remember anymore. But you haven't watched the Simpsons till you watch it on the big screen. I guess you can't really say that anymore since they cam out with the Simpsons Movie.

We all have certain people to deal with in the workplace. This person that I am about to tell you about is the type of person that will stab their own mother in the back if they think it will help them advance.

I need to lay the foundation real quick so you will be able to understand what I am saying. This person worked for my girlfriend at the time. Me and my girlfriend both would report to the same manager even though we worked in different departments. I am a contractor working security and she is a employee for that company.

Anyways this girl lets call her Marcy. Well Marcy would do anything she possibly could to get ahead at work. Meaning backstabbing. She would go tell the facilities manager all the time things that I was doing or that her boss was doing, so my girlfriend would get fired and she would get her job and pay.

Well she got on this kick about cell phones. I wasn't allowed to have a cell phone. The only guard on the site that wasn't allowed one. Well Marcy would go to the facilities manager daily and tell him that she saw me on the phone with my girlfriend all day everyday.

So one day I ended up leaving my cell phone with my dad because I wasn't going to give up my cell phone because my son was in the hospital. But I left it in the car to prove a point. Which I did, but in the end it didn't matter.

I got called into the office of the facilities manager and he told me to sit down. He started off by saying how many times do I have to tell you that you can not bring your cell phone to work? I said what are you talking about I don't have my cell phone on me.

He told me not to lie to him or I would be outta there right now. So I stood up and emptied my pockets, took off my shoes, showed him the insides of my socks, and asked him if he would like to see inside my underwear.

He then told me very smart where did you hide the phone. I told him I didn't and if you call it then my dad would answer the phone. So he called it and of course my dad answered the phone. He asked him how long he had the phone and my dad told him all day that I gave it to him last night.

The facilities manager hung up his phone and just glared at me. I caught him and Marcy in a lie and there was nothing he could do about it. I thought I had won. I was wrong. I got sent out of his office and when I got back to my desk there was Sgt. Retodd waiting with a write-up telling me I was on the phone.

I needed the job because the money was better than any other guard post and I didn't have time to search for another job. So I signed it with a big smiley face that was on the phone.