Office Pranks, Office Humor, and Office Stories - One Crazy Office

I was talking to my dad the other day and he was telling me a story when he used to work nights for a security company. Apparently they had a patrol car and they got a report of a naked man running around on the campus. Well the patrolman ends up locating the individual running around the parking lot.
Well what ended up happening is the naked guy jumped into the passenger side of the patrol car. Well at that time the security guard jump out of the moving car who at the time was also driving the vehicle. So by the time my dad and their supervisor got out there they had a naked man driving their patrol car around the parking lot.
They asked the patrolman why did he jump out of the car. He said that naked guy jumped in the car!! I ain't stayin in their with him!. All the other guys just busted out laughing and their supervisor looked like he was going to beat him half to death. I think they ended up calling the police and arresting the J-Birder, but a instant classic none the less.

Few things

Luckily no EMS calls this week.

Someone thought they found a bullet casing in their copy room, but as it turns out it was just a casing for construction. I laughed.

One person freaked out because he was going to get randomly drug tested and started crying and left. No word back from him yet.

It has been a long week for me. Hope everyone else enjoys their friday and it goes fast for them. "thats what she said"

This is one thing I will never understand in the business atmosphere. We are all supposed to be working towards the same goal and yet some people know more than others about what is going on ALL the time. Some things are worse than others, but there's one profession that it is pretty important to pass things down and make sure everyone is on the same page. Security in a corporate environment. You may not think so, but think about this.
Let's say someone gets fired and it was a bad firing and the guy says he is going to come back and make everyone sorry. Odds are they are not going to come back, because the people you really have to worry about is the people who don't say anything and just walk out. Well this happens a lot where I used to work. What makes it even worse in some areas if your security isn't a employee of the company they are providing security for, which is most every place of business. But you will not want to tell the guards everything because they are not apart of your company so a lot of people don't think they are a real part of the team anyways.
Now other professions need to know information is used as a tool of power over your other coworkers. They think they are so much better just because they know something that you don't so they have the advantage of doing a better job than you in the first place. What would happen if no one would stab each other in the back? That everyone would work together to accomplish whatever it was in front of them. There would be a lot less wasted time and therefore less money thrown away over petty rivalries. I know of course the answer though is greed.
And there is so many other things that could be said about this topic, but I would like to know what everyone else thinks and let them talk about what they think about the need to know basis. What is everything was out in the open so no lies could be told behind the scenes, so they could just use the term well it was on a need to know basis?

He is the guy who usually is a pessimist. He walks around and naturally just thinks everyone is against him. He is the one who always thinks that a hostile takeover is going on and everyone knows but him. He will set-up little traps in order to try and catch somebody doing something that he thinks has "something going on"
At my workplace I have a few people like this however. Most of them think that their job is always in jeopardy or people are starting to think of ways to get rid of them. And I am sure they are right, but why always worry about it? Shit is going to happen one way or another. Your always going to have back stabbers in the workplace. Which will be on another post if not many since I know plenty of them. But I digress.
This is the guy who always thinks people are taking his pennies that he leaves on his desk in a open area. Or that the building is bugged so he all of a sudden becomes the Mumbler. There a number of different types of this person however. So you can have a few of them and they all could be into different theories. I had one guy once that tried to tell us the the human race was controlled by a reptile underground species. And got mad when we wouldn't take him seriously.
They all have the same mentality however that everyone is out to get them. Problem is they open themselves up to a lot of trouble. Myself personally loves to give these guys hell. I will get them going just by saying a few words and I will have entertainment for the rest of the day.

When I used to work nights at the office we had a patrol car on-site. And behind the site was a nice piece of road that no one traveled on. So what do you think happens when you combine that with two 18 yr olds working nights and nothing to do? Oh and did I mention that we hated our boss?
So it was late one night and we were wondering how fast we could get the patrol car to go. We had about a quarter mile of road that the cops did not travel on very often so we thought we will use that. Problem was it was right in front of the main building and the smoking section for the entire campus. But we thought about it and gave it the green light.
We take it to the end of the road and get ready. We have to wait until the smokers at the time were gone and no one was around. So what we did was have one person at the entrance to the building to make sure the coast was clear. And the other one would see how fast we could get the car going before having to stop.
I think we only got the vehicle up to 80 or 85, but there was a few times that the coast was clear and the other person would call on the radio to stop because someone would come out for a smoke. Which then you would here a screeching of brakes. And other times we blew right by the smoking section and someone was there and we had missed.
So the next day when we show up for work the patrol car was now gone. We went and asked our supervisor at the time what had happened to it. He told us that their insurance would no longer carry us so they took it back to the main office.

This will be a topic of a lot of conversations on this blog just because how important it is in the office. But in this installment I'm going to talk from personal experience from a particular group of people. In my line of work I have to deal with a lot of people and have to rely on different groups of people within the office. I personally don't have that much pull where I work, but I hope to one day work my way up.
Anyways this is particular group has to let me know when they are hiring anybody and they also have to enter that person in the directory at the office where we work. I am supposed to be notified the day before that they are bringing someone in and the name of the individual. Well I don't think they have ever been consistent enough to do this more than a few days before they just drop the ball entirely. Lately I am having people come in and let me know they are a new hire and that they are supposed to start today. I will be like " oh really says who?" And my policy is I don't want to make the person suffer because of the stupidity of one group. So as long as they are in the directory I will be able to help them.
Well over the past few weeks they haven't even been doing this. I will be lucky if they hire someone if they are in the directory the next few days, but we will never receive notification about their start date. But the problem with this is also these people who are brand new hires are walking around without identification and could walk away with half the building and we wouldn't know anything.
Also they are supposed to let us know when people are being let go as well and taking them out of the directory. This is a even more serious problem because if they fire somebody even if they aren't a threat to come back we need to know so we can deactivate their badge. As you guess if they fire someone and don't let us know then they can easily walk right into the building and walk out with whatever they want and there is nothing we can do about it since we will not know a damn thing about them not even supposed to be on-site.
Has anyone out there in Internet land have to deal with a group of people that they have to rely on where if they don't do their job then it makes your job that much harder? Remember this is not just one person. This is a entire group of people working in one department.

If anything funny or interesting happen then I will post them on the quick hits for Thursday.

*On Wednesday during the day there was a driver trying to find his was to the back dock. The supervisor got on the radio and asked where the driver was. One of the guards came on the radio and said "He is coming through my back door right now"

Now he said this on the radio where almost 30 people could probably hear him. They all started laughing. He is the type of person who thinks everything belongs to him when he comes on-site. Well it looks like this one backfired on him :)

*On Wednesday we had another medical emergency. But this time I was the first responder. But also this time after talking with the individual I got kicked out and someone else started talking to him. Which has never happened before. Then I told them I would get security stationed outside to flag EMS down. Well as soon as I got all the guys in place, someone got on the radio and told them to do the exact same thing I had already done.
By this time I am pretty pissed just because I wasn't allowed to do my job, but w/e. I go outside and help them flag down EMS. waited downstairs till they were done. Which they transported the individual to the hospital. But I am wondering why are you going to make me spend all this time on training and not let me do what I am trained to do. But no matter it was not about me and I know that.

We all have him in our office no matter what. This week it is all about the "Mumbler" He is the guy that you can never understand no matter how quiet it is. You ask him where something is at or how to do something and all you here is MmmMmmM.
And after about the third time of asking him to repeat himself if you get that far then you will either finally understand enough just to get by or you will be completely pissed off and you will go and figure it out for yourself. What's worse though is if that person has to talk a lot. You spend the entire meeting just trying to figure out the first thing he said and by the time you figured out he said what he had for breakfast the meeting is over and you have a project due about pie or piers.
The one we have at our work we have to try to understand him over the radio most of the time. We have gotten pretty good about figuring stuff out without him, but there is always those few times when you will have to call him and you turn your phone volume up all the way and shut your door or put earplugs in your other ear just to hear him. But the guy we have really does try in his defense and gets frustrated as well. Please feel free to leave a comment about your low talker in your office space.

After lunch we get a call about someone passing out. By the time we got there the individual was still passed out. We immediately called 911. They showed up in record time. Which is good because we have to call them about once a week now. They wheel her into the ambulance for almost 15 minutes. She walks out just fine. Apparently she hadn't eaten all day and had taken diet pills. Which used to happen a lot on-site when people fainted. But they didn't take her, she just had to go get something to eat.
So we have been meaning to ask them anyways "What if we have to call an ambulance but they turn down the transport. Who pays for that? Apparently the tax payer does. So they can give her any med, but if she refused transport then she gets away without paying a dime. This is a double edged sword in my opinion. So that was my day. I hope everyone else had a eventful day :)

And a little food for thought. What is the difference between and brown noser and a kiss ass?

Depth Perception.

This is a Blast from the past to show everyone what it was like to work nights at the office where I was at. I was working nights with a friend of mine and it was one of those rare real cold nights. We were bored as usual and had to entertain ourselves. So we came up with a crazy idea to play football on the roof of our work. Well Since it was the middle of the night we couldn't see the ball very well so it got dumb real fast, but while we were on the roof we came across a water hose. As you can imagine the lights in our 18 yr old heads were going off.

Needless to say we started freezing the roof of the office where we work. Within a few hours the roof was a winter wonderland. We called a few people to see if they wanted to go ice skating with us. But as most of them were with their family for the holidays it was just the two of us. So we ice skated with our regular shoes on the roof for the rest of our shift, unaware out supervisor at the time was directly beneath us.

Luckily he never caught us, but asked us if we heard any strange noises on the roof over the radio. We said no, but we can go check it out. He told us "No, Never go on the roof for any reason!" As you could tell it was very hard to keep a straight tone on the radio. But as he left we went back to skating a little while longer and went home.

I think you have to have some fun at the office. But looking back on it that was to far, but at the time we were only 18 and under the rule of a micromanaging maniac of a boss. More on that guy later.

These people I don't really understand. I know they have a purpose I just haven't figured it out yet. Other than to fire people and just get in the way to create problems. I have never had a good experience with them either.


If anyone else has something "good" to say about their HR I would love to hear about it in my comments section.

     This is my first, hopefully many, blogs. My main interests are football, movies, and life in general. I am one of the people that no matter how hard I try trouble and drama can always find me. It can be quite fun at times, but others you just want it to go away and have a little break from everything.