Office Pranks, Office Humor, and Office Stories - One Crazy Office

This is the continuation of the previous post where I will be updating throughout the day or my crazy and possibly racist supervisor. I hope you enjoy he is really on point today. I apologize if something are repeated, but he likes to repeat himself ALOT. And I hate to admit it, but this 100% real.

10:11 A.M. Asking everyone who walks into the office if they are going to watch Ob-a-a-a-a-ama's inauguration.

10:13 A.M. Talking about everyone needs to send tea bags to everyone in the government again. Said if everything wasn't frozen over then they would put tea bags in all the fountains in Washington today.

10:14 A.M. Wondering if he is going to get a tax credit for all the trees he has at his place when they put the carbon tax in place. And you are going to start having to record the miles you drive so they can tax you on that now. They are going to watch you with their satellites.

10:17 A.M. Now he wants to look into getting radar absorbing paint for his vehicle so Obama can't track him.

10:18 A.M. My supervisor now says Obama's big announcement will be that everyone gets new Cadillacs.


Well he has been distracted by real work for now. But that should be gone soon, and we will be back in business.

10:56 A.M. Talking about how could Bono sing on Oprah when he is Irish. Then looks at the TV and says it is the million man march all over again.

10:59 A.M. He is now saying he had a ticket to go to Obama's inauguration, but decided not to go because he was busy. Busy doing what I have no idea.

11:02 A.M. He forgot to wear his black armband today that he was planning on wearing. So now he is upset about that.

And Obama Has been Sworn in as the 44th President of the United States.

This is the continuation of the previous post where I will be updating throughout the day or my crazy and possibly racist supervisor. I hope you enjoy he is really on point today. I apologize if something are repeated, but he likes to repeat himself ALOT. And I hate to admit it, but this 100% real.

9:20 A.M. Announces the new regime will have the Internet filtered by this afternoon and you will no longer be able to use it to look up past events and so on.

9:22 A.M. Now says he will believe in Obama if he puts the previous administration in jail.

9:25 A.M. A chorus of Ob-a-a-a-a-ma has broken out in the office.

9:27 A.M. Is talking about finding another planet to go live on. I am serious about this one too.

9:31 A.M. Is on a rant about how Obama coverage is taking over his local news.

9:33 A.M. He now says he has a problem with Hope when it is false. Like with Obama.

9:36 A.M. Asks me how I am going to spend my one year of compulsory service that I am going to be forced to do. I told him that I am going to spend it snitching on people like him. He then replied that he will be dead because they are going to have to get rid of all the baby boomers.

9:40 Is now looking for his tin foil hat.

9:41 A.M. He hears rumors that Obama wears bloomers.

9:42 A.M. Again tells me to remember to send a tea bag to Obama on Feb 1st.

9:44 A.M. He says that the major announcement from Obama is that he has 4 years to save the world from global warming. So he is going to have to tax your breathing and the amount of animals you have.

9:57 A.M. Another Ob-a-a-a-a-ma Chorus breaks out again. No complaining on how much they spent on the inauguration. Says they should of given the money to the banks since they need it so bad.

10:00 A.M. Talking about how he saw somewhere that hey are selling Obama dildos online.

10:01 A.M. Blames the market being down today on Obama.

10:05 A.M. Says the real reason the economy is down is so people will join the military.

I will be doing a live blog today throughout the day, and then post it at the end of the business day. The reason for this is because I have a conspiracy theorist and half racist supervisor and I think fun will be ensued. Some of the things he says you might even agree with, others are just funny. And of course I will be saying odd stuff all day long just to set him off.

I arrived at 8 A.M. and I come into the office and I am greeted with the following. Hello it is a dark day in American History today. No matter how you look at it.

8:15 A.M. He is on the phone with another guard talking crap about Obama such as he is just another politician so he is a liar, and Obama is going just be a one term wonder.

8:25 A.M. Now he is saying who will be president in 2012? Obama...So since the world is going to end in 2012 he is definitely is the Anti-Christ.

8:37 A.M. Saying Obama repeatedly like a sheep. Ob-a-a-a-ama Ob-a-a-a-a-ma

8:40 A.M. Now he is saying on Feb 1st to mail everyone in congress one tea bag. And to Obama. Then it will send a message. He also says he would support him if he would just the the country is insolvent. Then he ends it with another Ob-a-a-a-a-ma.

8:41 A.M. Message to Obama, when in a hole, first thing to do is quit digging. With another Ob-a-a-a-ama.

8:42 A.M. I have just realized this is going to be a long day. He says did you know that Obama was black?

8:45 A.M. Talking about how everyone is going to have the grab the ankles as soon as Obama is sworn in. And another reference to tea bags. Also already blames the banking issues on Obama.

8:48 A.M. Now saying Obama is going to bring all the banks and nationalize them. Then pronounces welcome to the U.S.S.A.

8:49 A.M. Says all of congress should take a pay cut of 20% to help with the economic downturn. I might have to agree with him on that.

8:53 A.M. Tells me I better get in shape for Obama youth brigade.

8:55 A.M. Now he is telling me he needs to go to academy to buy more ammo before Obama puts in an executive order to halt all sales on Ammo and firearms.

8:57 A.M. Is now telling me Obama's first speech will be him coming out and telling the world he is really white. He has just been using spray on tan.

9:03 A.M. He now takes a cigarette and says he might as well enjoy this last one before they carbon tax him for breathing air.

I have figured out I will need to post these once and hour since he is really on today. Updates throughout the day.

Now I am with everybody on this when people are not handicap park in a handicap space. It is just wrong on so many levels. Lately where I am at the cops have been cracking down on it. Fines have tripled for it when people park in those spaces. Which I agree with.

Anyways one day we got this call on our radio saying a constable was seen driving around our parking lot. Which sometimes happen when they have to serve papers and things like that. Then we get another call on the radio from one of the guards saying that he needed the address to the building, because the cop was writing a ticket.

At this time I got up to go see what all the hub bub was about. I got out there and this constable was just finishing writing a ticket for someone parked in the handicap space. It was a new car so no LP on it, but it didn't have any stickers on it either. Well all these people were standing around applauding what the cop was doing and they were talking about why people do that.

They had the name for the individual who was about to receive this ticket. And they told me the name and I couldn't help but laugh. And had to tell them that the individual that was getting the ticket for parking in the handicap space was actually in a wheel chair. That his sign was on his plates and since it was a new car and didn't have any plates on it that would be why it he didn't have any stickers.

I deflated the entire crowd and the cop was nice enough though to take away the ticket. And we actually ran into the guy as soon as we walked into the building and they went and talked to him. I think it was funny that they were going to give a ticket to someone in a wheelchair for parking in the handicap space. But I do have to say again that the cop was very nice about it and took the ticket away.

When I was working nights I would get off of work at about midnight every night. It was early in my career when there was not that many people working out here. So in turn there would be a bunch of deer all around the property. They were really cool to watch some nights when things were really slow. But they were super fast of course and as always paid close attention to their surroundings and if anything moved then they were outta there quick.

Well one night we saw this one and I dared the guy I was working with to be able to run to it and be able to touch it before it could get away. He took the bet and that deer beat him by a mile. Which was good because this guy was always bragging about how good he was at everything so of course he thought he would be able to catch the deer.

A couple of nights after that bet he said to me that he bet I wouldn't even get as close to the deer as he did. And I am not confident about much, but I am confident about how fast I am. I didn't think I was fast enough to catch a deer, but I knew I would be able to beat him. Well I thought wrong.

When we got off of work that night we saw a bunch of deer, but one had something stuck to his antlers. It was white and bulky. I don't know how, but he got stryofoam stuck to his antlers and was trying to get off. Which probably is the reason I was able to do what I was about to attempt to do.

I took off running at this deer. And most of the other deer noticed me immediantly and tok off. But this guy was so busy trying to mess with this thing on his head that he didn't notice me until it was to late. Now I personally would never hurt another animal, I have never hunted, but I have gone fishing. Anyways he finally did notice me, but I was so close there was nothing that he could do. I actually ended up grabbing that stryofoam off of his antlers that he had stuck, and right before he took off a gave him a little slap on the butt.

My coworker was astounded. He couldn't believe what he just saw. He thought I was the fastest person he ever met, when in truth it was just because the deer couldn't tell what was going on because he had a foreign object stuck to him. But he told everyone how I ran faster than this deer and slapped him on the butt and he was witness to it.

This happened when I was working days now, and we were having a little prank war between myself, another day guard, and a facilities guy. What got the whole thing started was the other guards favorite basketball team was the Spurs. And they had just lost in the playoffs. But the day before he spent the entire day bragging to everyone about how great they are and how they are going to wipe the floor with I think the team at the time was the Mavericks.

Well they either lost the series or just a game and the facilities manager wanted to get him back for all the mess he had been talking. So he brought in the newspaper which had the score and some title right on the cover. So we ended up printing out about 100 copies and taping them ALL over his car.

When he saw that he freaked out, but after he found out it came from the big guy in charge he calmed down real quick and said it was really funny. And that he was going to get us back. What he ended up doing was putting rainbow stickers on the back of mine and the facilities guys cars. Which was pretty funny, but the other guy didn't notice it and drove all the way home with it before he realized what was on his car.

So of course now we had to get him back one final time. And this one was a personal favorite of mine. We got some good old fashioned caution tape, and we went outside to his car. And instead of just putting it around his car a few times and that being the end of it, we decided to mummify it instead. You could not see anything on the car. All you could see was yellow and caution, caution, caution.

He saw that and instantly admitted defeat. So we helped him take it off(the caution tape), and with all 3 of us it still took like 10 minutes to unravel it all off. We then made a pact that all jokes from there on out would have nothing to do with our vehicles.