Office Pranks, Office Humor, and Office Stories - One Crazy Office

This was another good ole prank that we played on Sgt. Retodd. I was tired of him making my life a living hell so I wanted to return the favor in the best way I knew possible. By getting ahead. And that is what I like to live by. Don't worry about getting even...Get ahead.

The basis of this plan was simple. We had to sneak into his office and put this stockpile of glitter in his vent. That way when he turned the air on it would push all that glitter and it would go everywhere in his office.

Problem is how to do this when he was around. Well we decided to make a quick move when he went on patrol. So when he went out we made our move. He kept locking his door. You would think he would know that, that wouldn't stop me. By this time I had become a experienced locksmith...Plus I had the master key.

So we make our move. We run the ladder in and I get up there and run into a small problem. To get into the vent I had to cut into the duct. Something that I had not anticipated. But do you think that would stop me? Nope. I make a quick move and get some box cutters and make a big enough hole to get it all in there. Then put some electrical tape to seal it back up.

But time was running out, and it was taking longer that I had originally thought. But I was able to get it done in time. Just barely though.

Now I wasn't in there at the time the air came back on in his office, but I can tell you this. When he walked out, you need sunglasses to look at him because he was so shiny. I told him that it was a improvement. He just turned around and walked out the door for the day. So I took a look in his office and it looked like a sheet of snow had covered his office. It was just very sparkly snow.

Again I got permission from the boss man before I did this prank so I wouldn't get into to much trouble. But this guy really did have it coming to him. And I enjoyed being the person to make sure he got it.

This happened way back in April of 2007. On the site we have what you call a command center. This is where all the monitors are located for the cameras around the site. And they also made it a rule that you can not leave that post unattended for any reason. If you have to go to the restroom then you have to call another guard to come and relieve you. It is a bit crazy I know, but you have to listen to the client, and that's what they wanted.

Well we work on 8 hour shifts and sometimes 10 and 12. Can you imagine being stuck to one spot for that long? Now think if you had to work the night shift so your already tired and your just watching the most boring thing on these monitors. Nothing absolutely nothing went on. Every now and then you would see a guard doing their rounds.

Well at the time we had a night supervisor who ruled the night with an iron fist. But he was also the type of person that you have to do what he says, not what he does. Which is the most infuriating type of person for me to deal with. And I never really had to deal with him.

Well this on night in April there was this guard working the command center. The supervisor walked in and saw him with his eyes closed. So he of course blew up on him for sleeping and also sleeping in the most important post on the site. And they gave him a write up for it. And a few days later I got my hands on the write up to see what it said. And what I read was priceless.

There was a little box where it says employee statement. And all it said was the following.
I was just resting my eyes.

This didn't happen to me, but it did happen to another guard and became a instant classic. And what is even funnier is that at the end of the story this guard missed something that was pretty funny. Probably because he was so embarrassed.

It all started one night during winter. This guard apparently had bought some long johns that he could wear under his uniform since he worked the night shift and it was colder during that time when he had to do external patrols. Well during that night he decided to duck into a privacy room so he could change and put his long johns on.

Well after he started to change he was able to put his shirt back on, but when he was messing with his pants he heard a key go into the door and unlock it. And a female and male employee ended up opening the door and seeing this guard with his pants down.

As you can imagine they quickly closed the door and the guard finished getting dressed. When he walked out the door the two employees were sitting there waiting for him to finish up. He embarrassingly informed them that he had to use the room to change since it was so cold outside. He also said that they didn't seem to concerned.

But look at what he missed. He observed a male and female employee trying to sneak into a privacy room together. What do you think they were planning on doing. We had reports of someone getting down with some hanky panky the week before and he let them walk in right in front of him. Now that's funny I don't care who you are.