Office Pranks, Office Humor, and Office Stories - One Crazy Office

This happened a few years ago on the night shift. I wasn’t working the shift, but had first hand knowledge about what was going on. Someone was stealing from the cafe that we have at the office. And this is how we caught them.

I would like to say however that when I worked a post as a guard and it was during the holidays, I myself would sneak into the café for a soda or some chips, but nothing more, and I would only do that once in a blue moon.

Well we got this report from the head of the office café saying that she has been missing a lot of supplies lately and she thinks that someone has been stealing food from her café at night. Well we made some jokes about it being out night supervisor because he almost weighed 400 lbs and would be the most likely suspect, but it was only a joke because he would not be stupid enough to steal from the office…right?

So when he came in that afternoon my boss was talking to him about it, and telling him that he needed to keep an eye out at the café because someone was stealing food from it at night. Well the guy started getting real nervous and started to ask weird questions asking us if we knew who it was and things like that, which he would normally never ask.

But like magic the stealing from the office café had stopped over night. So it was pretty obvious who it was. But what we didn’t know was that he had an accomplice. After a few weeks it had started again. We had another guard that was told to watch him, and what he found was the funnies thing. Not only was the 400 lb guard sneaking into the café to graze. So was another 350 lb guard that we had working the night shift with him.

So they would spend hours just munching on food at night. After we discovered this we reported it, and again like magic nothing happened. But it still was funny watching 700 lbs stalking the café in the middle of the night. The office café never knew what happened.

Once a year usually during fall the company I work at will hold corporate games. Which includes things like basketball, tug-o-war, and things like that. They also serve beer at this thing too. I have been at this office for almost 5 years now, so I have been through 4 of them by now. We are not allowed to partake in the game though since we are vendors. Anyways we always thought someone would get hurt, but every year we came out of it unscathed. Maybe some heat exhaustion, but nothing serious. NOT THIS YEAR.

A few security guards went out to where they were holding the office games, and as soon as we got there someone was saying that someone else had a burn and that they were looking for us. Well we ended up finding that female and she had got a rug burn on her knee. Which I thought was hilarious and made a joke about it as soon as she was out of earshot.

So we thought that was the excitement for the day. Not a chance. We are sitting in the shade watching everyone else make idiots of themselves and we see these people running towards us, calling for us. They said someone was hurt really bad. We went to where a crowd had gathered and when we got there we saw this guy laying there with his knee looking a different direction than where it was supposed to.

We called 911 and had them show up to come and get this guy. We don't have anything for that in our little medical bags and the last thing I was going to do is move him. So they get out there and start working on him when we get another call about someone maybe having a broken ankle.

Thankfully EMS was already there so they wouldn't have to go far to pick this girl up to if it became a problem. She ended up just having a sprained ankle, but everyone else was freaking out. We gave her some ice packs and she said someone was coming to pick her up to take her to get X-Rays.

They ended up calling off the office games after that though since they don't need anyone else trying to get workers comp. So I think this was the last office games that they are going to hold. Which kinda sucks because I liked the free food, since they wouldn't give me any beer.

Talk about one crazy hour. With working here things are really slow or they all come down at once.

We got a call about a recent termination loitering around the site. We asked who the individual was since we were not notified of any recent terms. They told us the name and he was still active in all our databases. We thought great how long has this guy been gone and we didn't know about it. So we deactivated him in our databases and went on the man hunt to try and find this guy.

After about 30 minutes of searching the premises we finally came to the conclusion that either this guy saw us and left in a hurry, or the person might of been imagining things and thought they saw the person when they really didn't. We then put a BOLO out to all the guards.

Then someone came in and said this person has just been terminated and he is in the front lobby going crazy. So we went up to lobby and what she said was an understatement. That guy was going nuts. He hadn't even worked out here for a month yet. And when those type of people see security they either do one of two things. They calm down and quietly leave or they go even more nuts and try to fight. Well this guy didn't calm down. He ran down the hall though.

After having to catch him and sit him back down he wanted to talk to the person who fired him. We said we would give her a call which we did and she said nope and that he needs to be escorted off site. So we told that she said no and that he has to go. We then asked him if he was waiting for his ride or if he had his own vehicle. He said he had his own. I think the presence of 3 guards standing around him did start to calm him down.

He then walked out the door and we were watching him, then he made the turn and started coming back to try and get back inside. We met him outside again to head him off and told him he had to leave. He thought about it for a few minutes then I guess thought it best to go ahead and leave. He got in his vehicle and drove like a bat outta hell off site.

We hate doing that as guards because we really do bad about it, but it is our job. Now there are some super cops who really enjoy it, but we try to shy away from those guys as much as possible.