Office Pranks, Office Humor, and Office Stories - One Crazy Office

It is not uncommon to get constables and other law enforcement type people out at this site to serve papers to employees. In fact it usually happens at least once a month. But the other day when this constable walked in he had a little surprise for me. He was not serving one, but two people for two completely different reasons.

So he walked in the building and I got the call on the radio that they needed me at the front desk. I invited the constable into my office and asked him the name of the individual that we we about to call down. Well he hands me two names which has never happened before. I was thinking great it is hard enough just to get one guy down here.

I look up to see if they were even here today and one was and one wasn't. I couldn't get a hold of the guy who was here though. So he left me two of his cards and told me to give that to the two individuals. I didn't have to, but I was bored and thought OK I will help you make some quick money on the side.

Later that day I get a hold of that one individual and give him the card. The guy calls it and it ends up being the wrong guy. Apparently there are two people with that same name that work here. I was like oh great.

I ended up giving both cards to the correct people and called the constable. Well he zooms right over and wants to see those people. Well one guy came and got served and that was the end of it. The other guy didn't want his so guess what he did? He RAN...

I informed very politely that he will not be picking up his summons, because he is in the process of leaving this site right now as quickly as possible. The constable ended up running after him and I am sure that he got his man.

This actually didn't happen at the site I worked at or with the company I work with. This happened at an OLD RETIREMENT HOME. You will have to remember that. And it had to deal with one of my friends.

It all started when I was having a house warming party and we invited all the usual guests over. Well one of my friends brings over this huge bottle of wine. I was like whoa that's a lot of booze in one bottle. Well people kept talking about it, and how generous this guy was.

Well another friend who actually worked at the same place as him started getting jealous for some reason. And we are all good friends and love to rain on each others parades any time we can.

So he spilled the beans on this guy in front of the entire party. What had happened was that the guy who brought the wine had stolen it from the cafe at the RETIREMENT HOME. And Apparently he has done this more than once. They said he probably has more than a liquor store by now.

Everyone started laughing at it, but thought it was wrong to steal the old folks booze.


Funny side note, the guy a few months later was found passed out at work holding a empty bottle of wine AT WORK. He actually was able to keep his job though since nobody would take his shifts and they couldn't hire anybody else for some reason.

I still have that bottle too. I think it would be bad to drink and bad to throw it away at the same time, so it is gathering dust at home. I get a little chuckle everytime I look at it though.

Now this guy was off his rocker. I think when he finally left our site it was a blessing in disguise. He was a lawsuit waiting to happen. This guy even had a masters degree and was working security as his main job. He is also one of the few people that actually scared me.

This story didn't get him fired, but it is very memorable. He was having this party at his house one day, and I guess he wanted to invite some people at work. So his idea to get the word out was to plaster his info about the party in ALL the break rooms around the building and put a couple on this one girls desk.

He knew it, but this girl was one of the head girls on HR. I personally have a problem with people who work in HR. We just don't get a long for some reason. I digress.

So the party comes and goes and out of 2000 something employees not one of them shows up. He works 3RD shift and no one knows who he is for one. But here comes his big mistake. He goes up to the HR girl and starts a conversation with her. And apparently he told her that she missed on hell of a party. She said oh that was you that left that note on my desk. And then he said the instant classic line.

He said and I quote " Oh man you should of been there we were all drinking and they had ton of pot. We were smoking some crazy weed. You really missed it" And that is all fine and good depending on who you are, BUT YOU DO NOT SAY THAT TO HR! So she goes to the security supervisor. And he ended up keeping his job.

Now he was fired a few months after that though for making a joke that I have said in another post, but here it goes again. What do you call a person who has sex with their bike?....A peddle file. And with that he was outta there.

The reason he scared me though was because he was on medication and he was telling everyone that he had a gun. Which is fine, but they way he was talking was scary.

Also now that I think of it he wasn't fired. They moved him to a different site and he started doing patrol. So he still works for the security company.

This guy was a character. Unfortunately he was grossly over weight and ended up in the hospital almost a year ago. He struggled to comb his hair it was so bad. But last I heard he is still trying to lose weight. Anyways this story is one of the stories that I think about every time his name comes up.

Rocky actually never got fired. He probably should of been and they told the employee that he was, but it never happened which is pretty funny to me. It all started with one of the receptionist. He developed a crush on her. One day she said good morning to him and then it was on. I guess saying hi to some guys is a sign that they want you.

So this guy would start to call her in the morning as soon as she would show up for work. And most of the time he would just stay on the line and she could hear him breathing. Very Creepy. Well it was pretty obvious where the call was coming from since all the phones have caller ID. This actually went one for a month or two before she told anybody.

And as soon as she told our supervisor about him, he said he would have a talk with him. This supervisor was very lazy and never said two words to him. Well after another week or two she then went to the site manager, who called the owner of the security company. Who then stepped in and talked to the guard, but still didn't fire him. Then turned around and told the girl that he was fired.

He never called her again, and she never noticed him walking by her every morning. Which starts to make you think, did she even know who the person looked like that was pretty much stalking her.

I wanted to give you a warning before reading this article. It will piss you off and it is quite unbelievable, but I thought I would tell the story since it has come full circle now. I will start from the beginning.

One day this guy walks into the building and tells me he has a interview set up. I ask him who his contact person is and he tells me. So I give the person a call to let them know that they have a visitor. I call the person and she informs me that she is not expecting that person for another month.

I tell the guy the situation and he gets very angry, and demands to talk to that person. I tell the contact person that he wants to talk to you. She said that she would be right down. She came down and they actually argued for a few minutes and he ended up leaving in a hurry. She came in rolling her eyes, but didn't say anything and went back to her desk.

Well at the end of the month the same guy came in. Apparently he still had a job interview after blowing up on the person who was thinking about hiring him. Long story short then end up hiring him and a few months later he ends up becoming permanent.

So I didn't hear anything else about him really other than seeing him around for about a year. But one day our big boss walks in and asks about this person. I tell him that I know who he is, and that he is kind of a jerk. Well he tells me that is not even the start of it.

Apparently him and his girl ended up getting really drunk one night and he beat her up with a baseball bat. She ended up in the hospital with reconstructive surgery. She will never be the same. And that dude is actually at work the next day joking around with some co workers. Later that week we had a constable show up, but only to serve him some papers.

So the guy still works here after all that. I know that the company can't do anything about it because it had nothing to do with them. I am just surprised that he was able to walk out of jail after doing that to someone.

Almost a year later after that though a manager walks in a hands me his ID card and tells me that he will not be coming back. In fact they don't plan on seeing him for 2-5 years or so now.

I know people get pissed off when they are trying to get a hold of their spouse at work and can't reach them. But when you actually come up to their work and start cussing and yelling at the people who work there is not really the smartest thing to do for your sake and your wives.

It all started one day in early 2005. I was doing my rounds and I heard this guy shouting down the hall. While I was walking up to him I saw that he was shouting at these two girls who were the receptionist. They were asking him to be quiet and settle down. And if he can't then he needs to leave.

He responded and said that he didn't have to do one thing that they say. By that time I got there and I spoke up and said no, but you do have to listen to me. He looked at me and was kind of taken aback that he gathered some attention. So he goes and sits down and tries to call his wife a few more times before getting pissed off again.

He came up to me and asked me to escort him to his desk. I tell him no because he has already become a problem and he needs to stay where he is at. That she can come down to see you. Well he got pissed off again and started cussing up a storm again.

He said that he has gone up there before. I asked him who let you in? He got real quiet and didn't say anything at that point. After a moment he said that he wanted to talk to my supervisor. So I obliged him and call my supervisor up to the front desk.

He asked my boss the same thing and he as well told him no that he can not go upstairs. So then he started saying he wanted every ones names and the corporate number.I was more than happy to give him my name and badge number. (I was thinking to myself...I always wanted to say that)

At that time though he saw his spouse come from upstairs and and give him some keys that ended up being his house keys. All of that was over some keys because he forgot his. He then turned to argue some more with everybody, but me and my supervisor escorted him off-site.

We then gave him a criminal trespassing warning and told me he was no longer allowed to be on-site.